Cross roads

Here I am, standing at a cross road again. The year is ending and I can't help but be anxious about the next 365 days in 2011.

This has been a good year so far. Granted, work has been testing my patience and sometimes I wonder why do I bother to do the things I do. HC ever told me to take pride in the things I do and every small or mundane job can be something worthwhile if you have the heart to do so. It is with these thoughts that I held in mind when I took on this job and I appreciated it because of the flexibility and the company. Sadly, people I like have all slowly left and it is with unfamiliar faces I meet daily. All new colleagues and fellow office mates.

I think it takes too much effort to write exactly what happened. The fact is I have been replaced next year and I was told about this last Friday by my boss. It seems I was too expensive and I was advised to do something "better" with my education and caliber. Yeah.. Laugh but it was all serious-ness when she told me. It left me thinking what am I doing here working as a "maid" for these people??!? I had to go downstairs and buy them lunch on Monday because they were having training!!! Because the admin person was not around, I couldn't get anyone to deliver food to us between 12 to 2, they are ( with the exception of 1) keen on fast food and obviously since the request was made to me at 11:57am, there wasn't many choices. I could think on the positive aspect of doing them a favour but truthfully? I felt degraded and it's with as much sacarsm I could bring while taking their order. Thank goodness someone from the other team was kind to go down with me
and thank God the rain came after we came back. Otherwise I would be madder than I was then. Oh yah, obviously the rest of the team in training would like a break and go downstairs for their lunch but noooo... She would not allow and thus only allocate a short lunch.

I was really pissed. Degraded and felt like their maid.

I never thought if it much this way before... But now, the thought bugs me and I resent being manipulated again. Negative thoughts and emotions... That's what make me sick. And of course the temperamental weather..

Either she's really concern about me and my future or she's just saying to rid me.

Hurts. Because I felt disposed and because I didn't really want to believe in the meaness in her.

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