Hello 2016!

It has been too long and I have been swamped with school work and pure exhaustion and laziness to blog. Life have been great and fulfilling and days passes so quickly I am stunned. 3 years have passed just like that and I'm at my last practicum module trying very hard to get words on paper.

I have faced disappointments and witness transformation of self. I have built perseverance and resilience and confidence. I have battled self doubt and struggled with peers smarter than me. But I have learn acceptance  and love for self. I have gone closer to God who walked with me through it all. I am never good enough in my own opinion but I have learn to cut myself some slack. I know I have tried my best and I need to put things in perspectives.

Faith - To hold on to Faith.

 “All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.”
― Paulo Coelho, Brida 

This year has not been kind to me, health wise. After passing my 100th day of recovery for my torn ligament, I had a very, very bad allergic reaction to virus, further triggered by shellfish (prawn) that resulted in a 2 times admission to A&E in a day. Happened on my birthday somemore!

I do not wish to dwell on it, learning to let go and living positively. I am not exarggerating when I say I'm deeply tramautised. It was bad.

Faith is what I have taken away from this. To believe and have faith that God is with me at all times.
That my family, my hubby, my friends are my grounding factors. That I need to listen to my body and not get too stressed out.

Today's prayer

"Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ" 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

God works in mysterious ways. Some disaster might be a lessing in disguise. Some hurt and disappointments could be a sign of better things to come.

March is nearing again and much as any common sense insist, the innate fear and helplessness still creeps up in me ... unsuspectingly. Mundane and unnecessary issues get blown up and I tend to over react. I have to keep strong.

And it's strange... does God have the power to manipulate electronic devices? Could He have done or willed someone to manipulate a system to eradicate a potential issue that will cause harm to me? I wonder.

Learn to let go.

Learn to cultivate peace of mind when dark forces are out to play.

Learn the signs and mistakes of the past.

"Until now, you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete" John 16:24

Hello 2014!

So Long 2013!

2013 has been a GREAT year for me! Both personally and professionally. I have won an award at work for an eBook project that I was "tricked" into joining. This project involves lots of sweat, tears and panic for 2 years. A reluctant recipient I am of this award, but nevertheless appreciative and grateful of the opportunity. First award ever won in my life!

I had the opportunity to anchor an outreach event. Lots of staying back for that one in June. Grateful for good student leaders and helpers to count on and gorgeous artwork and creativity that I am and still proud of.

This year is the first time I displayed 2 posters presentations. The feeling of seeing your team's and students' work in print, on a A0 poster is a pride that no words can describe. I felt really accomplished and proud.

On the personal front, I finally took the leap to apply for my Master's and after an online test, 1 interview and plenty of self doubt, I am finally enrolled as a student in a University I have always wanted to be in since I'm a child. This achievement is a fulfillment that I can't describe in words, knowing that I have had many obstacles since being a teenager and the path has always been dark and littered with negativity. I have completed one semester with tenacity and tears. Studying is hard, part time is harder! And getting into the groove is tough, my Uni days was 13 years ago!

I'm happy that I have passed and I'm determined to do better.

We also fulfilled mummy's wish of visiting Australia and we brought her to Melbourne during her 60th birthday. She had a lot of fun and though the Great Ocean Road was a blur to me since I was having fever, I am very happy that mummy stayed healthy and enjoyed her visit there!

This is also the year that hubby and I finally build our nest  after 6 years of marriage. 6 and a half years to be precise when we finally moved in and settle in. The last 2 weeks of 2013 has been lots of decluttering, of letting go of the past and moving on into the future. We finally have our home and I am ever so grateful and blessed.

I thank hubby for giving me a beautiful house and we will make this a beautiful home together.

2013 is a year of unbelievable happenings. It's the year that I have been stretched non stop. I worked endlessly and I thought I was going to snap but thankfully never did. It's a year I was tested and betrayed by people I thought meant well. Fooled by people I trusted.

2013 is also a year where I forged new friendships and bonds, where I learned to look inwards, where I believed in God simply because there's nothing else. This is the year where I learned not to take anything or anyone for granted. To look at the people who truly loves me and want the best for me. To remove the toxic.

2013 has passed and with every new year, I feel a sense of lost and emptiness. Of the unknown.

This year, I want to go slow. To live life, my life. To read, to reflect, to communicate with those who mean something to me. To God.

This year, I want to focus on my studies. I want to be able to say No to additional work loads. I want to go to Japan. I want to bake (since I have an oven that hasn't been turned on), I want to be HEALTHY, to eat healthy, live healthy, think healthy.

This year I want positivity. I want to continue living and not be hampered by the "cannot do" attitude.
I want to be aware of my thoughts.

Lastly I want to be with hubby every step of our life. I Love you.

The sweet smell of rain dances across the school :)

Low PSI on Monday 24 June 2013

My pretty tree protecting us from the haze and a home for many sightings of birds

The leaves of my tree has turned yellow.. is this from the haze?

Amazed how a shift of wind direction changes the course of the haze pathway in just a matter of a few hours

Truly thankful for the rain that falls heavily as I type. The cheers heard from the students and the rustling of leaves and branches as the wind howls. It's a good respite and who can predict what tomorrow weather and wind will bring?

So it's true then to this report ....Only rain can help S'pore now

God loves us.

Be strong

This year there will be a huge change for me. Something that I wanted since I was a kid and never got about to having it due to many reasons. I can cry about it, dream about it and pray about it but I never expect to have it till now. This is only the very beginning, my very first step in its entrance and there will be a long and (hopefully) less stressful years ahead. (haha) There is a long way ahead and I will have to be very focused and work very hard in order to be able to graduate.

My hubby is the greatest person to thank for he pushes me to dare to dream, dare to try and dare to cry if i fail to get in. Indeed, the application, test and interview were nerve wreacking and the waiting.. ooh the waiting to get the news makes my self doubts increases to a new high.

So I got in and I panicked again. Hard not to be stress when my work load is piling, self expectations increases and anxiety to get through this becomes overwhelming.

Sunday.

I picked up the Daily Bread and I flipped to the date 17 June 2013 and this appears. It's like God's message to me.

Because I have the opportunity, my insecurities creeps up on me. Opponents in many forms. Self, work mates and work loads. People may know about it and may choose to support me or may try ways and means to topple me. I may become my greatest enemy if I don't learn to control my thoughts and emotions.

Stay alert. Know myself. Listen to my body. Know when I'm self destructive. Be alert when others mean harm. Stay alert for God's wisdom and help.

Stand firm in the faith. Believe that I won't be left behind by God.

Show courage. So what if I may not be as smart. so what if I fail (Please no. too expensive to fail). I need to stand when I fall and learn to be a better person. Trials makes a person stronger. Makes a person believe.

Be strong. Stand up and move on.

Everything you do should be done in love. Amen.

Thinking positive

I will have to keep on trying. Towards a goal, unknown journey, unknown destination. 

Fear keep me stagnant, keeps me down, keeps me from daring to try, to live a life which I may be good at.

Who knows what will happen? My life belongs to Him. 

He gave me this and everything I have.

Thank you God.

What Faith can Do - I'm utterly inspired.

Jayesslee @ City Harvest Church

Kutless

+++

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Much Love Monday: Hope and looking forward

Source: http://www.ohiseered.com/2011/03/reminder-you-are-wonderfully-made.html

I have been in the dumps lately. Daily news of world wide tragedy and self perceived personal failure. It doesn't matter, I have to remember that I'm wonderfully made by God, thanks to Red. :)

This week I'm loving: Love, Hope and optimism.

(8)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Counting my blessings ...

For each new morning with its light,

For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food, for love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

++++

It has been a good year and I'm thankful for all blessings and gifts.
Thankful for my family, my Hubby, my health, my friends and all the goodness and love that is everywhere.
Thankful that my 2 lovely friends are blessed with a child.

Let me count my blessings...

Jan
Full moon on the 1st Jan and the lovely walk hubby and I had walking home from Queenstown in the crisp night.

Feb
Starting my new job and getting to work each day and being able to see my 2 treasured friends.

Mar
Putting my organisation skills to work. Planning and executing a trainig session at M Hotel and meeting lovely people from Philipines.

Apr
Loving yummy food and admiring the heart and effort chefs invested when preparing great food. 

Grateful to be able to taste sweet, sour, spicy and bitter. Grateful for the feelings evoked by food and loving comfort food and also the memories the first bite of comfort food brings.

May
Visiting hunnie and driving down south visiting scenic spots, drinking and eating fabulous food and wine. Staying in lovely cabins and keeping warm in front of the fireplace for the very first time!

Thankful for great friends like hunnie & G who extended their hospitality and opening their home to us :) who did so much to make us comfortable and well fed (hehe) THANK YOu!!!!

And it was a memorable experience for me because I climbed a tall vertical tree for the first time in my life. I overcome my fear and moved onwards and upwards focusing only on hubby, hunnie & G at the finishing point. I felt really accomplised!

Jun
I'm thankful that Ron had a safe and speedy delivery and my second Godson Maximus is born!

I'm also thankful for the gorgeous diamond ring hubby got for me and for celebrating our 3 years wedding anniversary.

July
Celebrating hubby's convocation after all his hard work. My heart is filled with pride as his name is flashed on the screen and he walked on the stage.

Wishing you all the best and to many more 'stage walking' in the future.. Hehe.

Aug
Our friend Eunice sucessfully releasing her album after years of hard work. I thank God for showering her with blessings and for her wonderful voice. I had loads of fun photographing, videoing and attending her many gigs.

Looking forward to more performances and praying for a lucky break into the tight music scene in Asia.

Having our relatives visiting from Japan brings great joy to us. We had lots of fun and laughter and tons of good food. We visited the Zoo, watched a performance at Art House, ate and watched belly dance performance at a Persian restaurant.

I'm also thankful for the opportunity to chat with hubby's cousin, D and getting acquainted with new friends.

Sep
Thanking God for letting me celebrate my 32nd birthday! Each day, each year without falling sick is a blessing. Good health is a blessing!

Grateful for surprise cakes, card and present from friends at work and a big hug to SY who surprised me with a high tea at the Ritz! Thank you!

Oct
Thankful for true love and happy marriages! Attended a lovely wedding of HS at Four Seasons hotel. Pretty brides and joyous laughter. 要幸福哦！

Nov
Grateful for bring able to walk, to breathe, to eat, to feel, to be alive! Life itself is a gift... I need to remind myself when I'm in despair and take things for granted.

Dec
Thankful for the opportunity to visit Turkey, an amazing country.

Visiting Turkey leaves me feeling in awe over thousands of years of history, geography and sadness over years of fights and struggles. Standing on historical grounds and driving on the modernised silk road is simply amazing. As the scenery passes me by, I can picture old caravans and weary travellers in tough conditions. How fortunate we are to be traveling in coach buses with heating facilities! To be protected from harsh weather conditions and being fed with good,
nutritious food. How thankful I am that almost every Sg have a roof over our head and not left homeless or begging for food.

We travelled more than 1000 km over 8 days and it made me sing praises of God's wonder and creation. I pray for religious tolerance and respect for 2011 and for years to come and for all to co exist peacefully.

2010 is filled with so much wonderful memories. How can I top it in 2011?

365 new days stares back at me expectantly and honestly I'm scared of what the new year holds.

I will have to banish negative thoughts and emotions and look forward to the good, the bad and the unexpected. God will be in charge and relax lah.. 2011 will be fantabulous!

Sent from my iPhone

Merry Christmas with Love.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Luke 2:11-14/KJV

PS: Sorry for late post :)

Thankful being alive at 32.

I know it sounds strange to be thankful to be alive at 32, because 32 is not all that old. But last year was a trying year for me. Not to be melodramatic, I treasured my life because I thought it would be over before I'm ready to let go. It was at that moment when I realised that my life is really that fragile.

I have decided to live my life. Not the way most people do and at times, I feel guilty for doing this but it's my life, my choice.

It's strange that I bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert almost 2 years ago but never reading it, and kept pushing it to the back of my reading list. Yesterday, I saw this paragraph and I could relate to it:

"The Bhagavad Gita- that ancient Indian Yogic text- says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. So now I have started living my own life. Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly."

The Bhagavas Gita is a Hindu scripture and I only found out more about it today. You can read it here. 

Nevertheless, the imperfect way (to some) I'm living my life now is me thoroughly. I'm committed to people and things I care about and I'm learning about myself and how to be a better person and not influence by "cosmic and climatic" influence (if you catch my drift). I'm learning to love myself everyday and learning more about myself. I'm learning to say "no" without guilt (hard, I tell you) and doing what I want (within reasonable boundaries of course).

Like getting a Ultimate Ice mocha blended because it makes me feel good, climbing up that taaaaall tree, walking barefooted, licking an ice cream, walking in the rain, smelling pages of new books, running my fingers on smooth fabrics, meowing at cats in public (*note: not cute when am adult does that, in comparison to a child) and more.

Most importantly, I thank God for all His blessings right now. For the love I received, for my hubby, my family, my friends. For beautiful skies, romantic rain, blooming flowers and new born kittens.

I am truly blessed.... and I'm still not quite ready to let go.

Thank you.

He has made everything beautiful in His time

 there's beauty everywhere, we would just have to take a moment to appreciate it.

You are my strength (Hillsong) cover

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of your grace
In the power of your name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

source

Meeting Mr Precious Moments himself!

I have always have a thing for precious moments.. it's their eyes, or simply because they are so innocent and cute. I received my first PM figurine gift when I was 17 or 18.... and I'm sold!

I've counted and I have about 13 figurines at home. I just want to buy everything! But $ and space is always an issue with me. Anyway I'm adding on to my collection slowly and enjoying them in the shops.

 Sat, hubby and I went for the PM event at Raffles City and we get to see Mr Sam Butcher, the creator of PM. For a man with such a fierce surname, he is genteel and patient. He signs on each figurines and doll carefully. My guess is he's pushing 80 but I hope he will create more stories with each figurines.

Posing with our figurines. The staffs are very nice and excited to take pictures all the time. I think they must have liked PM too.

Holiday surprises are filled with air

Love is always with us

I'll be your shelter in the storm

God is our shelter and our protector from all the rages in the world. Let us live in His glory!

Happy Easter & remembering

The Scapegoat, a novel by Daphne du Maurier, is about two men who are amazed at the striking similarity in their appearance. They spend an evening together, but one runs off, stealing the other’s identity and leaving him to step into a life filled with problems. The second man becomes a scapegoat.

The origin of that word comes from a ceremony performed with two goats on the Hebrew Day of Atonement (known today as Yom Kippur). The high priest would sacrifice one goat and symbolically place the sins of the people on the head of the other—the scapegoat—before it was sent into the wilderness carrying away the blame of the sin (Lev. 16:7-10).

But when Jesus came, He became our scapegoat. He offered Himself up “once for all” as a sacrifice to pay for the sins of “the whole world” (1 John 2:2; Heb. 7:27). That first goat had been sacrificed as a sin offering for God’s people and symbolized Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. The other goat was a representation of the completely innocent Jesus accepting and removing our sin and guilt.

None of us is without sin—but the Father laid on Jesus “the iniquity of us all” (Isa. 53:6). God sees followers of His Son as blameless—because Jesus took all the blame we deserve.  — Cindy Hess Kasper

Jesus our Savior left heaven above,
Coming to earth as a Servant with love;
Laying aside all His glory, He came,
Giving His life, taking all of our blame. —Hess

Jesus takes our sin and gives us His salvation.

+++++

Remembering God and remembering His sacrifice for us. But we still hurt Him so.

++++++++

Taking time away from Easter eggs and bunnies, I try to think about the real meaning of Easter and the reason we celebrate it. The day where Our Father dies for us on the cross to remove us from our sins. The day when He was tortured and bloodied. Where he suffers and bled for His children. 3 days later He rose from death. I forget, but I will make an effort to remember. God bless us all.

I think I will be better - Hopefully

I had a bit of a scare because of my fainting attack. I didn't get better and was very weak and giddy and we decided to go to A&E.

Overall to cut the long story short, I was diagnosed to have a one time attack and not on any medication for now. Apparently the Dr (a Prof some more) thinks it's very common to have such attack and I quote "even people dancing in pub can have one" (erm).

My CT scan was ok and am now waiting for my EEG report, out maybe next week.

So after spending a day admitted in the ward, I was very happy and excited to be discharged yesterday. I came home and showered and I slept from 4 to 7!

I truly feel blessed to be alive and hopefully well as long as I can be. I was quite a baby at the ward and to much embarrassment, the nurses and Drs were very kind to me. The night nurse found me crying and it's one of those times when you are so scared and worried that you just cannot stop. She comforted me, let me sit at the nurses' station and made me Milo. That night I had a fainting episode again, the ground was moving and my head was light headed and my hands and feet were numb. I was confined to bed and feeling more scared, cried some more. In the end, my hubby came and held my hand. 

Dearie, I want to thank you for going through this with me, for staying and waiting while I was stuck in the A&E recovery room and you sitting alone in the visitor's waiting area for close to 4 hours. The recovery room was a chaotic mess, trolleys in and out (it's my first time there and hopefully the last). I'm sorry for waking you at 1 am and causing you not to sleep the entire night. But you comfort me and I feel safe with you.

The CT scan and EEG was an eye opener, the technician showed me the probes and my reading on the computer screen but the DR will have to analyse it and write the report. While capturing the awake mode, she flashes bright lights in my eyes (my eyes were closed) and made me breathe in and out very quickly for 3 mins  to collect some readings. These made my headache worse and my limbs numb and tingly. In the sleep mode, she played some music and I tried to relax and sleep. I think I did sleep for a short while and she was satisfied with the readings. The whole procedure took 30 min or longer.

so the good news is that I'm home and recovering. Though my right side is still slightly weaker, it seems this is the residual effect and will go away. My TCU is on 1 June and I will pray that the test report is ok.

To my dearest friends, I'm ok so don't worry ok? Thank you for your concern and love and well wishes across the ocean. Muaks.

Merry Christmas!

X'mas eve evening was spent having dinner with hubby and mummy. Hubby bought a lamb leg and I cooked vegetable. Dinner was nice and cosy and it was raining.. really cold and windy. Let your imagination run 10x and the raindrops will be transformed into snow. Haha. 

Lamb with garlic and mint sauce.

Broccoli, asparagus, baby potatoes, baby corns and carrot bathed in margarine and dill.

Here's a little card I received from SPCA, it's cute and made me laugh. Pay attention to the sheep and turkey.

Have a lovely Christmas with your friends and loved ones!

Spread the joy of LOVE and the birth of CHRIST, our Lord Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

From The Moochs =)

Daily Bread 16-Nov-2008

Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, 

“Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” —Genesis 28:16

"As Jacob did in Genesis 28, I like to remind myself each morning when I awaken that God is here, “in this place,” present with me (v.16). As I spend time with Him each morning, reading His Word and responding in prayer, it reinforces my sense of His presence—that He is near. Although we do not see Him, Peter reminds us that we can love Him and rejoice in His love for us with “inexpressible,” glorious joy (1 Peter 1:8).

We take the Lord’s presence with us all through the day, blending work and play with prayer. He is our teacher, our philosopher, our companion—our gentle, kind, and very best friend.

God is with us wherever we go. He is in the commonplace, whether we know it or not. “Surely the Lord is in this place,” Jacob said of a most unlikely spot, “and I did not know it” (Gen. 28:16). We may not realize He is close by. We may feel lonely and sad. Our day may seem bleak and dreary without a visible ray of hope—yet He is present.

Amid all the clamor and din of this visible and audible world, listen carefully for God’s quiet voice. Listen to Him in the Bible. Talk to Him frequently in prayer. Look for Him in your circumstances. Seek Him. He is with you wherever you go!  — David H. Roper"

This struck me, made me realized that I have, my hubby has and we both have so much to be grateful for and to honor in His words and name in such trying times.

He holds us close, He is present and He listens to us. We are never alone. 

He loves us and journey with us with his Love.